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All you need to do is confess to the holy spirit.
There are some marketing ideas that are so bizarre, so outrageous and so goddamn random, they’re bound to work. The beloved Sydney sinners at Poor Toms Gin
are currently executing one such campaign, and it’s proving to be very effective.
Basically, if you call 1800 GINSUS, say “Forgive me Ginsus for I have sinned,”, and proceed to confess your juiciest sins to a most-certainly-non-ordained figure, Ginsus, he will bestow both forgiveness and free gin upon you (#blessed). The best/worst confessions are being anonymously published on the 1800 GINSUS website
, and the winners will pick up a bottle of Poor Toms limited edition strawberry gin. Plus, the biggest sinners are in with a chance to win the mantle of best confession and a $600 prize pack — which is probably a better prize than your local church is offering for your confessions.
Makes perfect sense to us. Some of the things confessed are so mouthwatering they truly deserve a bottle of gin — even if it’s just to wash away the shame. Confessions published so far include “I made out with my first cousin,” “I rubbed one out at work”, “I got mad at my friends for suggesting my boyfriend looked like my father (he did)”, “I told my sister I was too drunk to help her move [house] but I was not drunk at all”, and “I made out with someone on the grass and rolled in dog shit. We went back to his tent and had sex then I stole some of his clothes to replace my dog shit clothes”.
If you’ve got a sin to get off your chest, this really is a win-win — all those shameful experiences you’ve be keeping secret can now be transferred into sweet gin… which may or may not fuel the creation of more shameful experiences and so on. It’s the sweet, sinful circle of life.
For your chance to win some Poor Toms gin, call 1800 GINSUS and start confessing. The hotline will be open until midnight Tuesday, December 15. For more info, visit the 1800GINSUS website.